Stuff Vegetarians Like

Fake Meat
Deep down inside, the vegetarian loves the sound of eating chicken and beef. Why not just eat the real thing? Deep fried soy paste does not taste the same as the flesh of an animal. No matter how hard you try.

Fish
90% of vegetarians I talk to say they eat fish. Well then you're not a fucking vegetarian.

Taking a Long Time To Order From a Menu
Vegetarians have to take as long as they can to order food when dining at a restaurant that caters to everyone. The entire table is ready to order their delicious Rack of Lamb and the "vegetarian", who we all know is just going to get the Baby Green Salad, is complaining about how there is nothing on the menu to eat. Get the Chicken Wings, wash off all the flavor with your water, and pretend its soy. How about that for a change?

Judging Meat Eaters
Just because we eat calf doesn't mean we worship a golden one. Vegetarians look down on the meat eater as if we are some kind of abomination of hipster bohemian society. In their eyes, carnivores spawned in the depths of hell and came to earth to destroy all that is good, cute, and furry.
**On a side note, why is it that carnivorous dinosaurs are made to look like the bad guys in movies? If you had big sharp teeth and an empty stomach, wouldn't a juicy triceratops look tasty to you too?**
It the circle of life really. A farmer grows corn, cuts it from the stalk, dries it, and feeds it to chickens. When the chicken is nice a plump, the farmer uses a sharpened device to sever the chickens head, drain its blood and insides, and strip it of its feathers. Then the meat of the bird is battered and fried to be served over my waffle for me to eat.

Responding to Blogs About Vegetarians
Bring it on.