Stuff Redneck People Like

Although Jeff Foxworthy has done his part to cover this subject, we'll add a few more observations.

Confederate Flags 

A subtle way to tell everyone, "I still don't like black people."

The Second Amendment 

Good for protection against thieves (a.k.a. minorities). And no it's not a phallic symbol that compensates for low self esteem... You're just jealous you don't have one as powerful. 

Trucks

This is linked to not liking the environment.

Welfare 

Too bad they hate democrats. 

Stuff Vikings Like

Raping

When you're depriving a city of all their natural resources, and you meet a nice woman, it seems logical to just take her too. 

Pillaging

Really just anything taken by force.

Sailing

Viking 1: Set an open course, to the virgin sea. 

Viking 2: Maybe we'll find some virgins.

Viking 1: Yeah... And fuck 'em.

Longship with 80 Vikings aboard: Yeah!

Viking 2: Boosh. 

Other Vikings

It's not often you see Vikings hanging out with Starbucks Baristas. 

Braiding Beards

Intimidating when coupled with an ax. 

Stuff Illiterate People Like

Pictures on Menus

It's easier just to point at what you want to eat.

Monosyllabic words

Yes, they good. (However, illiterate people do not like the word monosyllabic)

Symbols 

Great.

 Fuck. 

Stuff Drowning People Like

Oxygen

But not when combined with Hydrogen. Oh yeah, it's an atom joke.

Life Savers

Yum.

Courageous Dolphins 

Unlike a life guard they wont ask for thanks. Fuck life guards. 

Buoyant Objects

Your drowning ass better hope that Fnet is a negative number. 

Stuff Internet Predators Like

AIM chat rooms

Hornysexywoman6128: I'm lonely....

Internetpredator: Perfect.

Abbreviating 

"ASL?" "PAW" "Pix?" "IWSN!!" "Wanna be FBs?"

Abbreviating cuts through the getting-to-know-each-other phase of the conversation, and gets right to the, wanna-meet-up-and-fuck part of the conversation. 

Anonymity 

Internetpredator: Just call me Robert. 

Stuff Migrant Workers Like

Gloves

It's important to protect your hands. After all, a man once said, "A man is not paid for having hands, but for using them." And the migrant workers didn't understand him.

Straw Hats

Spending most of your day outside, you need some kind of protection from UV rays. And umbrellas, although highly effective, slow progress in your back yard. 

White People Deciding They Need to Fix Up the House

Helloooooo $60. 

Mustaches 

A status symbol. Like Tom Selleck it says, "I'm a man." On a side note, if your BMI is less than 20, and you have a mustache, it says, "I'm in a man."

Home Depot Parking Lots

Fact: The average migrant worker spends over 2/3 of their life in a Home Depot parking lot.

Fact: When migrant workers start getting college degrees white people are gonna be screwed. 

Stuff Child Molesters Like

Play Grounds

A great place to make friends... good friends. Even if by force.

Sharing Candy

Sharing is caring. If I care enough to share my candy, you should care enough to share yourself.

White GMC Vans

Fast, unrecognizable, and it can fit a bed and a video camera in the back. What's not to like?

Public Pool Showers

Society doesn't have enough places where men and boys can get together and be naked.

Keeping Secrets

No one would understand your secret anyway.